The Twelve Dates of Xmas
I am publishing a few cryptic status updates on Facebook recently in regards to the many suitors during my crazy dating life. Since heading back online, I had some super horror that is weird (that I’ll conserve for the subsequent entry) but also for now, I was thinking you would enjoy an even more in depth description of this guys i am speaking with.
The term is used by me”men” instead loosely!
Suitor no. 1: Name: JJ Age: 39 Height: 6’3 Job: Engineer Lives: longer Island OkCupid Match: a disappointing 69% We shall call him JJ, mostly because that’s the nickname just their sibling is permitted to make use of. From someone else, it is hated by him. Kinda just like me with Kimmy. It is possible to phone me personally Kim, Kimberly, or Kimba, but also for the love of all plain things holy, PLEASE try not to phone me personally Kimmy. (Unless you are my small bro. He calls me personally Timmy. Cutest thing ever! ) JJ and I also have now been dating for many months. We came across on the internet and their writing hooked me above whatever else. He’s incredibly smart, aimed at their work, well look over, super nerdy, and incredibly high. Our times have actually included pizza and guy of metal, every single day during the coastline, and a swanky supper with their buddies among countless others. We have been therefore excellent together. We knew We adored him fairly in early stages, and would joyfully stop trying my solitary woman status for the relationship that is real JJ. With me talking to other guys since he isn’t “ready” to be exclusive / committed to me, he said that he’s “totally ok. We occur to know he wants me to do, than I’ll do it that he is NOT ok with this, but if that’s what. Go into the remaining portion of the Suitors. Reputation: UNKNOWN
Suitor # 2: title: My Colleague’s Father’s company Partner’s Son — you might have previously learn about him in the last weblog entry, My Future Husband. Age: 29 Height: 6’0 Job: Construction worker Lives: owns his home on longer Island OkCupid match: No clue, although i’d want to discover! My teammate at the job wished to set me personally up with no. 2 over an ago, and through a series of circumstances, we never met year. He finally got my quantity so we’ve been texting for a couple of weeks. We’ve had a couple of phone that is good, nevertheless the many disappointing thing had been which he had been a cigarette smoker. Instant deal breaker for me personally.
Suitor no. 3: title: Dan Age: 38 Height: 6’0 Job: IT for the appropriate company in NYC life: Astoria OkCupid Match: 82% Dan and I also had been talking previously come july 1st, I just did not would like to get hurt once more! Before i acquired frightened of males (which actually means) He sent great messages, packed with witty remarks and humor that is insightful. He is easy and smart to speak with making me feel immediately comfortable. I sent Dan this message: “Hey, I’ve got some personal stuff going on right now, so am taking my profile down for a while before I took my profile down for several months. If you should be nevertheless on here once I reactivate it (which for your sake i really hope you aren’t), you will be the very first individual We message. ” Would not you realize it, a months that are few I updated my profile and within a day of signing on, Dan published for me. He stated, “Hey, i am hoping you took the full time which you needed seriously to sort everything down. Every couple was checked by me of times to see if perhaps you were online once again. We missed speaking with you. Welcome back. ” And merely that way, Dan and I also began communicating each day. He is also simpler to keep in touch with now that i am aware him better. We share loves of bacon, jazz, Cards Against Humanity, nyc, farmer’s areas, and nation music. Dan and I also simply just take photos of y our meals and text them to one another on a regular basis. He calls me personally through the food store to state things such as ” We have pasta and eggs in the home. Exactly what can we make with that? ” and I also talk him through the aisles to generate one thing delicious. Our very very first telephone call had been it felt so normal while he was wandering the supermarket, and. It felt like us. Reputation: ACTIVE
Suitor #4: title: Steve Age: 32 Height: 5’11 Job: petrol fireplace repairman everyday lives: longer Island (solution eastern) OkCupid Match: 89% Steve and I also began dealing with our provided passion for tea. The time that is first texted me, we’d both just sat right down to a hot glass of Trader Joe’s Pomegranate White Tea! Of all teas on the planet to be drinking at the time, fate tossed us to the exact exact same cup that is steamy. We took this as a good indication, and now we had a number of hour-long calls. Steve provided me with their final title so of course I facebook stalked him. (Sorry people but it is 2013 — knowledge is energy! ) There were a few pictures of him with a tiny son or daughter, but he’d never talked about a youngster prior to. His twitter handle had been on the website, thus I seemed that up too. The essential tweet that is recent “My crazy bitch of a ex wife whom hates me personally utilizing the fire of a lot of suns is stalking my twitter feed. Go fucking figure! ” there have been a few other explicit tweets about just getting 4 hours per week together with his son, her being psycho, the entire world generally drawing ass. We do not judge anyone centered on their social media marketing, but that may seem like too much luggage for me personally to manage right from the start. Sorry, Steve. Reputation: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF ANGRY TWEETS
Suitor #12: title: The Pianist Age: 31 Height: 6’0 Job: Concert Pianist and Piano Teacher Lives: brand brand brand New Jersey (ugh) OkCupid Match: 93% The Pianist is incredibly achieved, educated, cultured, well read, and well traveled. He spends nearly all of their amount of time in Manhattan and made a decision to are now living in nj-new jersey for the scene of NYC. He could’ve resided in Brooklyn when it comes to views of our reasonable skyline, but he prefers the impression of suburbia amidst the city that is big. He’s additionally a fan of low priced fuel, low fees, and a variety that is wide of. He plays piano at sets from business activities to parties that are private concert halls. He shows pupils through the youngest protege into the collegiate elite. He’s sort and thoughtful and keeps in contact just sufficient therefore that i understand he is thinking about me personally, yet not a great deal as to frighten me personally away. He is Armenian, that I knew absolutely absolutely nothing about except that the Kardashians are Armenian. (excuse me ahead of time into the whole nation of Armenia that the Kardashian clan could be the thing that is only realize about your nation! Really, i did not even understand that much. I was told by the Pianist! ) He is wonderful up to now and I also am very excited to make the journey to know him better. Reputation: ACTIVE
Suitor #13: Name: Nick the Dick Age: an overgrown adolescent Height: gutter Job: irritating individuals everyday lives: in a dark and dirty spot OkCupid Match: this can be simply absurd Alright, i am aware that we said there have been twelve times of xmas, but I’d to toss this 1 on once and for all measure. Bad, unlucky thirteen. Nick ended up being charming enough online but due to the fact saying goes, “Good in some recoverable format, shit in true to life. ” Nick skipped within the texting area of the on the web dating progression and called me the moment he got my quantity. He had been really talkative (a lot of so! ) and I also could not get a term in edgewise. He said which he does not have confidence in love being all “doves and butterflies and performing and shit. Love is not that way. It really is crap quite often. You have simply got to find somebody it is possible to tolerate. ” He additionally said that after children that are raising “it’s best to simply put a sack over their heads often so that they shut up and listen. Guess what happens they do say about physical violence: whether it’s not working, you aren’t making use of an adequate amount of it! ” And lastly, as he asked exactly just what my weirdest internet dating experience is, we told him concerning the man the other day who desired to pee on (with? ) me personally. Nick’s reaction had been “therefore I guess permitting me just take a shit for you is going regarding the concern, cause you are a prude? ” Reputation: ELIMINATED ON THE BASIS OF ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.